Long · Way · Round

So todays the day. I turn the magic 21. However, I doubt that my birthday could top my birthday-eve. I hung out with Benny all night. We chilled at the Quarry, killed Gameworks Studios and then hit up the hookah bar. Which of course was empty and we had one of our many universe altering conversations. Then when he dropped me off he asked me if I would pray with him. That is the greatest honor I have ever experienced. I am so blessed to have known Benny when he was still in high school. Because now you can see how much he has changed. I can see how much i've changed. I wish others could experience the love, the joy, the fear, the confusion, and the beauty of life the way that we see it. I wish people could stop thinking about life and the universe with their heads and start using their hearts. will all their answers be answered? hell no. but if they started to think about a greater power with their heart. If they just gave in and then go of everything...then they wouldn't need all of life's answers. I have such a blessed life. Not just because of all my blessings. But because I am walk the line between right and wrong everyday. I walk that line for God. Everyone walks that line. But when you give in to God's love...it gets harder. The tests get more often and you're presented with more sin than you have ever known. I am honored that God helps me walk this path. I am not a preacher. I am not a priest or reverend. I am Matt. I am a soldier of God. I walk the line everyday and hopefully more and more people will find their way. Yes, I prayed with Benny.

I've been having some crazy dreams lately. I was once stuck in an apocalyptic world (Mad Max style) and the only one who could save mankind was Arnold The Govenator himself! I had another dream where Jessica Alba and I were high school sweethearts. Damn she's perfect. Plus, it's been getting hotter down here in Texas and when it's hot I have deep deep sleeps. Well last night I had a dream that Ewan McGregor came to my house, which turned into a motorcycle shop, and we talked bikes for about 30 min. Then I woke up. That was the whole dream. Not too amazing but it was really cool. I've never had a conversation in my sleep that lasted that long before. Now I feel like grabbing a BMW GS Adventure and riding around the world. But not tonight. Now, i'm off to shower and then hopefully more interesting dreams.

It took me awhile to post anything because honestly, I hate writing. But I finally sucked it up and decided to post something.

Recently I’ve had a real life change. Nothing is like it used to be. But it’s for the best. Part of this change is because of my faith. Part of this is because of events that have happened to me during the past few years. And another part of this is because of Enzo.

Enzo showed me that there is a fight out there. A fight bigger than any one of us. I met E on myspace a few years ago. See I believe that everything happens for a reason. Just the fact that we met on myspace of all places strengthens that belief. Why did he add me? Why did I add him? I usually delete anyone who isn’t a friend of mine in real life. I could have simply hit “DENY” and my life would be completely different from what it is now. It’s a trip just thinking’ about it.

I soon started talking to E and learning more about Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. My God, I had no idea that these diseases affected so many millions. Then I realized that I could do something with my life that truly meant something. I mean, I won’t lie to ya, I’m lazy. I’m really lazy. But to be apart of this is an honor. To be on a team with such inspiring people willing to fight so hard. I tell you this right now; there is nothing “regular” about these people. This team, “The Regulars” is what separates everyday people from great people. Peter Parker is a “regular” guy in the day, but once trouble strikes he puts on his mask and becomes Spider-Man, a hero. That’s the kind of people this team is made of. People willing to sacrifice for others. I see people like Enzo who has put this whole quest together while taking care of family, building a house, and going to school. Then there’s Eileen. She takes care of three boys! I barely finished my teenage life so I know how much trouble us guys can be. Props to ya Eileen. These "regular" people inspire me so much.

Thankfully I do not have any family or friends who have been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s. But I hope that by my being on the team people can see that you don’t have to be directly affected to stand up and make a difference. E once said that our children should never have to grow up knowing the words “Alzheimer’s” or “Parkinson’s”. This is my goal. This is our goal. If you’re reading this then I hope it’s you’re goal as well.

-Matt

We all remember that old school ice breaker: If you could have supper with five dead people who would they be? I think i've finally choosen. Five legends...five heroes.

1. Jesus- Can't eat without Jesus at the table. (plus he brings the wine)
2. Steve McQueen- I would love to talk bikes with The Cooler King.
3. George S. Patton- We play chess.
4. Red Skelton- He makes me smile.
5. Sir Edmund Hilary- He's new to the group.

Heroes never die...they just reload.

yesterday, a girl in my acting class sang a song onstage. a song which she wrote. a song that sturs the soul. she hit the first note and I was covered in goosebumps. if thats not art then I don't know what is. I'm quiting my job. I really wish I could talk with my grandpa right now. I miss him so so much. After all the time we had to prepare its never enough is it? I'm really pissed that I didn't get to see Hannah before she left. Things are changing so fast. I have no problem with change. I just have problems with people growing apart.

I went to Enchanted Rock with Hannah and her dad. That was exactly what I needed! Let the Texas air clean out my head! Hannah was really quiet. I've never seen her like that. When your on the rock, in solitude, there are only two things people think about. 1.) Everything you hold dear in life. 2.) and everything that hasn't gone according to plan. For me, Hannah falls in both categories. Shes always been my friend, and for the first time in my life I realized that one day she'll be gone. I can't imagine a life without her in it. And for the first time ever i'm actually scared of the future.

Eleven years ago...1997...I was nine years old. The New Year had finally come. Me and my family were celebrating in my front yard. I was walking up the stairs and I had this really bad feeling that the coming year would be a bad one. It was. At least for a nine year old kid. I remember always being upset. Always angry for something. Was it bad luck? I don't believe in luck. If there is such a thing as luck then I believe we make it ourselves, bad or good. All I remember was thinking that it was the worst year in my life. 1998 came and on those same steps I told myself that it was going to be a good year. I hardly remember 98' so it must have been decent. Now, 2007...ten years after my so called "year of hell". I watched my Grandfather slowly die for several months. I saw my family break down. It hadn't been long since I had come back from NY. Mark went to Colorado. Benny went to Africa. Hannah went to Europe. Celeste was still in Cali. I felt that I shouldn't have come back. I've gained 25 pounds since coming home. I failed two classes this semester. I started to lose my mind and took a bat to everything within arms reach in my room. I haven't climbed in so long. And the list goes on. I could go on forever about how this was the worst year of my life. However, I can't even begin to explain how this was the greatest year of my life. To put it into the simplest terms: I found myself. As cliche as that sounds, its true. I evaluated my life and realized for the first time how much i've been blessed with. I watched my grandfather pass on...and it was the most beautiful experience of my life. I hear people say they don't believe in God or any other higher power and it saddens me so so much that they aren't as blessed as I me. I wish I could give them a piece of what i have. If I explain the things that happened with my grandfather most people wouldn't believe. It was really a crazy version of Touched By An Angel. I no longer fear death. For the past three years I have had this extreme fear of death. Not for myself but for my loved ones. It really sounds greedy of me. I'm afraid of living without them. But now I'm so happy that my grandfather has passed. The places he described were made of dreams. In fact it kinda scares me. I'm sort of looking forward to death. Not too soon I hope. But I realize that when its my time the its my time. However I know if I lose someone really close to me i'm going to really lose it and break down. but now i'm rambling... I have never been stronger in my faith. Everything I have ever done in my life has brought me to where I am today. Not even the big choices in my life. Choices that I didn't really make a big deal out of. I only joined Say Si because I skipped class and met Micheal Verdi. I only went to Brack to "play with computers" in media. I went to SVA because the brochure was cooler than NYU's. Enzo is a man who has changed my life. He has given my a chance to change the world. To help others. To have a life that no one I have known has lived. A life that all my heroes have. A chance to be a hero. I met E on myspace. Well he found me. randomly. through a climber guy I met on myspace. I only met him because I was in NY. this summer i'm going to climb Mt. Hood. The only reason i'm able to go is because I am no longer in NY.
It's crazy to think how my life would be different if I hadn't made irrational decisions or ran into random events. Thats how I know that everything was supposed to happen. Hannah, my best friend...she moved to my elementary school towards the end of my time there. What brought her to that school? I have no clue. But she could have easily gone somewhere else. Now, ten years later i can't imagine a life without her in it.
This is where I belong. For now. January 1, 2008. day one of the rest of my life. it's going to be one hell of a year. and I have a strong feeling that its going to fly by mucho mucho fast. So, let's see whats next. Soon i'll have posted my new years resolutions. (More like promises).

~I've been reading alot of books lately. Watching tons of television (the good portion). The Long Way Round, No Reservations, Globe Trekker. I've come to realize one thing. This world isn't that big. And everyone is the same. We're not all that different. We all love our children. We all want a roof over our heads. We all need food. So how did we all end up seperated from each other? And how did I end up with such an easy life? Ask some random person on the street and i'm willing to bet that they will say that they're life is anything but easy. Bullshit. All our lives are easy. If you have internet access then you're better off than a large portion of humanity.
~Today I randomly started thinking of the pizza guy from NY. I had completely forgotten about that guy. We were pretty cool. But for the life of me I can't remember his name.
~On another note. In seven months I will be up on Mt. Hood. Or dead. We'll see. I have tons to do. Training. Fundraising. Raiseing awareness. Alot of people close to me are telling me that I have to worry about my personal safety. I agree. But i'm more concerned about failing. Alot is riding on this climb. I'm mean come on! We're making a documentry! And I'm representing Texas!!! By the way, it looks like Micheal J. Fox will be narrating the documentry. We're also trying to get David Hype Pierce to do some naration as well. This past year has been the greatest year of my life. Next year shows promise to raise that bar even more!

"I am still the sword/Of my Emperor/I will not be sheathed/Until I die."
-Japanese Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto
This is your life and its ending one day at a time... But i'm reborn every morning and my story continues. I'm not dead yet. So i'll continue to write this story. Tonight I realized how much i've changed not only since high school, not only since NY, but this year alone. One year ago I never thought I would end up the way I am now. I realize that if I never left New York i would be a completely different person. Maybe that life wouldn't have been so bad. But I wouldn't trade this life for the world. I think I finally know why I came back. Brian is a fucking genius. The morning I left NY he had left a post-it note on my desk. It was a quote from Keifer Sutherland, one of the baddest badass'es ever, it said "Sometimes you have to take the journey before you realize why you took it in the first place." So maybe my leaving NY had nothing to do with wanting to be a filmmaker or not. Maybe it had nothing to do with wanting to studying anthropology and seeing the world. Home was pulling me back, and I had already made up my mind to come back. I left home to study in NY. To become somebody. But it wasn't until I came back that I really became someone. I found who i really am. My journey had already started without me. Now i'm back on the trail again. Thank you Benny. Thank you Mark. Thank you New York. Thank you Mom and Dad. Thank you Sam. Thank you Brian. Thank you Keifer Sutherland. Thank You God. I've come full circle. Now let's go to work.

My Grandfather died this morning. I had already said goodbye. I made my peace with him passing. But now that he's gone I realize that there was so much I didn't say. However I have to say that these past few weeks with him were beautiful. I saw my great grandfather die eleven years ago. But this time i'm older and i'm more in tune with my faith and I have to say that I feel so so sorry for people who don't believe in heaven. If you had lived this past week with my family you would believe. My grandfather was awake and asleep at the same time. He was meeting people he had never met before. He met my other Grandfather who had died years before my parents ever met. He knew about my uncle's reinivations on his house (my grandfather has never been to that house). It was like taking a journey with him. Meeting his old friends who were saving him some beer. Smelling the food that was be prepared for him. Waiting for his mama to come and get him. My last words to my Grandpa were: "We'll be together soon."

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear
And curse
When you're chewing on
Life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
And...

...always look on the bright side
Of life...
(Whistle)

Always look on the light side
Of life...
(Whistle)

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and
Dance and sing
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle
- that's the thing.
And...always look on the bright
Side of life...
(Whistle)

Come on.

Always look on the bright side
Of life...
(Whistle)

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain
With a bow
Forget about your sin - give the
Audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance
Anyhow.
So always look on the bright side
Of death
Just before you draw your
Terminal breath
Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke
It's true
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh
Is on you
And always look on the bright side
Of life...
(Whistle)

Always look on the right side
Of life...
(Whistle)

Come on Brian, cheer up.

Always look on the bright side
Of life...

Always look on the bright side
Of life...

Worse things happen at sea you know.

Always look on the bright side
Of life...

I mean - what have you got to lose?
You know, you come from nothing
- you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing.

Always look on the right side
Of life...


*written by Monty Python